"....many women who had a prolonged period of sexual activity in multiple failed relationships and breakups complained of feeling angry, burned, and betrayed. As a result, there was a 'cumulative negative impact' on their future relationships, and a 'global mistrust and antagonism' toward men, and an increased neediness that they brought to the next relationship."
So, if I'm reading this right, it's basically saying that not only am I jaded, hurt, broken, and have trust issues but I'm also angry, burned, and betrayed? And I have a global mistrust and antagonism towards men and increased neediness. This seems like a very bad downward spiral. No wonder I'm single! Thank you captain obvious!
"Good-hearted people, by the way, have the greatest risk for staying in a relationship with a jerk, because good-hearted people so quickly forgive, overlook problems, minimize shortcomings, and give second chances (and third, and fourth, etc). 'Give 'em the benefit of the doubt,' you think, 'everyone makes mistakes.'"
"Good people often give too much, accept too much, and overlook too much in a relationship. They believe people can change and that everyone usually deserves second and even third chances. As a result, good people often stay in a relationship too long, becoming more and more damaged while never seeing any genuine change in their partner."
I just keep learning more and more! Nice guys finish last my ass. Nice, understanding, caring, GOOD-HEARTED girls finish last. SMH. I am damaged because I am a good-hearted person. I know I put on a tough facade, but those of you who know me know that I'm truly a genuine person. We can thank all the amazing men that have come in and out of my life for my outward bitchiness. It's definitely a tough wall to break, but very much worth it if you stick around long enough to break it. Problem is, no one is up for the challenge.
"...It will be difficult for someone to be in a relationship with you if are overly defensive...." Man, I don't need therapy anymore, I just need to read this book a couple times through and I'll understand everything that's wrong with me and why I am not in a relationship. Everyone says that it's good to take a break and be single for awhile before jumping into something else. Well I have three things to say to those people: 1)You're IN a relationship, so it's easy for you to say. 2)It's a been a year and a half now - how much time do you think is sufficient enough before moving on? And 3)Who the hell said I was looking for a relationship!? Not to be rude, I know they are just looking out for my best interest, but seriously c'mon. When you're in a relationship, and you have someone to talk to about your day, and comfort you when you've had a rough time, cry on your partner's shoulder just because, and cuddle after a long day.... You don't know what it's like to be on the outside looking in, I know I didn't for the longest time, until I was unwantingly back there.
Just remember when you were single. And your friend who was in a relationship told you that you didn't need anyone, you're fine by yourself. Just remember how bad you wanted to punch that person in the face or stab them in the jugular. Okay, that last one was a little brutal, but you get the picture. Having that person, that someone that you can just unwind to - it's something no one should take for granted.
I bought this book for a class that I was going to be taking this semester before I realized I would be dropping all of my classes. Not sure if I'll have the opportunity to take the class again, I was bored, the book was staring me in the face, and I didn't want to waste the money by buying a book and just having it sit on my shelf. So I picked it up and started reading. Two days and seven chapters later, here I am. This book is filled with good shit. Eye-opening shit. I really encourage anyone and everyone to read this. It's for those of us that are single, to those of you in a relationship, to my married friends. Everyone can take SOMEthing from this book, promise.
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